Tag Archives: BC

What Is A Funeral Director?

People know that a funeral home and its funeral directors assist families with preparing and providing final services, whether they are in the form of a funeral, memorial service, graveside service or direct cremation. But they do not know what a funeral director is and who they are as individual people.

A funeral director is a very special person; there can be no doubt about it. Who else deals with the subject of death, and ONLY the subject of death every single day? Most individuals and families in our society today are anxious about the subject of death. They will avoid the topic, and are unfortunately often completely uninformed on the topic. This is only made worse when a death occurs in their family. They don’t know who to call and have no idea of the steps involved in making the final arrangements.

The funeral director is a professional who is trained, not only to provide a service to the family, but who is also able to help guide the family; provide them with various options available, and walk with them throughout the decision making process. Imagine if you had to deal with death every single day of your life! It takes a special individual, filled with knowledge, professionally trained and certified, completely empathetic for the family, and with ultimate respect for the deceased.

The funeral director is your family’s professional ally to help guide you through the maze at such a very difficult time for the family. At Alternatives Funeral & Cremation Services, our funeral directors will come to see you in your own home to help you understand the options available and guide you to make the decision that best suits your family. It is not just a more convenient approach, in that you don’t have to go to the funeral home. What is really means is that when you need to make such difficult decisions, you are in your own home, sitting around your kitchen table, under your own roof. It’s in your home that you are most comfortable and emotionally safe. Plus by being in your home, you remain in charge.

At Alternatives we pride ourselves on establishing this business model when we opened our doors in 1992. Virtually every family has and continues to tell us that being in their own home has made all the difference for their comfort, security and satisfaction. They have also told us they would not have anticipated how much of a difference it was for them by not having to go to a funeral home to make the arrangements.

There is a lot to know and we offer an educational presentation that is NOT a sales pitch. You learn about the procedures that must be followed when a death occurs in a hospital, care facility or a private residence. You also become familiar with the law with regard to who has the legal right to make decisions on behalf of the deceased. You’ll be informed regarding the options available for services; the important role the doctor has in the process; the difference between a death benefit and survivor’s benefit; and much more.

This one hour presentation is available at no charge for your organization, seniors residence, church, library or recreation centre, as well as for professional allies such as social workers and hospices.

If you are interested in either attending or hosting this very helpful and informative education presentation, please contact Michael Godin, Director Community Relations, at Alternatives Funeral & Cremation Services at 604 857 5779.

Michael Godin
Director Community Relations
Alternatives Funeral & Cremation Services
P: 604 857 5779

Assets That Do Not Form Part of the Estate

When somebody die, they are deemed to have sold all of their assets just before death. Of course, in reality, nothing has been sold yet, and it will be up to the executor to sell or bequeath the assets of the estate, following the terms of the will. However, in many estates there are assets which are not owned by the estate. But how can that be? How can the assets be owned by the deceased while he was alive, but not owned by his estate after death? If the estate doesn’t own those assets, who does?

Some assets are owned jointly, with each owner having the right of survivorship. For example, a joint bank account. Each of the two owners owns the entire bank account, and when one of them passes away, the name of the deceased is removed from the account, leaving the survivor as the only owner. The estate is not the owner of that bank account, but rather the survivor is the owner. Another common example is the family home, which is often times owned by a couple in joint tenancy. When one of the two owners dies, the name of the deceased is removed from title, leaving the survivor’s name on title. Once again, the house does not form part of the estate.

There are other common examples, too, such as insurance policies and retirement savings. Most insurance policies and retirement savings accounts have one or more named beneficiaries, so the proceeds of the policy will go directly to the named beneficiaries, meaning the policy and RRSP/RRIF do not form part of the estate.

If you need to file for probate, only those assets owned by the estate will get included, meaning you will not have to pay probate fees for those other assets. So why then are insurance policies sometimes included in the probate application? If the policy owner never named a beneficiary, or if the beneficiary died, then the estate becomes the beneficiary, meaning the value of the policy needs to be included in the list of assets, on which probate fees are calculated.

By now some of you might be thinking you could save a lot of time and money if you became a joint owner on your parents’ house. You’d save on probate fees, and you might even eliminate the need for probate altogether. Well, you’d be correct on those two points, but there’s more to consider, especially for your parent(s), so you’d be well-advised to speak with an accountant before going on title.

Sometimes real estate is owned by two or more people as Tenants in Common, rather than Joint Tenancy. If one of the owners dies, that person’s share of the property forms part of the estate, can be sold or bequeathed, and does not automatically transfer to the surviving owner(s). You’d rarely see this type of ownership for the family home, but you would frequently see it for investment properties.

Gregg Medwid is the owner and president of Executor Support, a firm based in Coquitlam, British Columbia, with expertise assisting executors and administrators in settling estates. The project management expertise and customer service focus Medwid brings to Executor Support ensures questions are answered and help is given when it is most needed.

This article is in no way intended to substitute for competent legal advice.

Gregg Medwid, Owner
Executor Support
gregg@executorsupport.ca

My Brother

“Larry, this is mom.  Ron is in surgery in Vancouver.  He has cancer.”

Imagine getting this phone call about your little brother… perhaps you have already received a similar call about a friend, co-worker, or family member.

My younger brother was 25 at the time.  Diagnosed with lymphoma he was in surgery having his spleen and lymph nodes removed.  I am blessed that nearly 30 years after that conversation with my mom, I was able to speak with him on the phone last evening about coming over for a visit to see me.

Working now for the Canadian Cancer Society I have a much better understanding of what a family can do when they get this news.  Initially I went through a very normal pattern of emotions:  fear, anxiety, helplessness, despair, and anger.

I have found that many people want to do something fairly quickly.  We don’t want to stand on the sidelines while our loved ones are fighting for their lives.  Many people make time and volunteer for their cause.  Some will donate money on the spot.  We all want to do whatever it takes to help and to make us feel we can personally be involved.

However, later on with the perspective of time and healing we look for deeper and more meaningful ways to contribute.  I have conversations everyday with people who want to make a planned charitable gift.  Everyone has a cause they want to support and for many that is the fight against cancer.  I engage in meaningful conversations with them to better understand their charitable motivation and to encourage them to carefully consider the impact that they want to make.  Then we discuss the best method (or combination of methods) to make a planned gift.  It could be as simple as changing a beneficiary designation on an RRSP to a charity, to making a gift of a life insurance policy, or updating their will to include their charity or cause of choice.

There are significant tax benefits that come from giving; but I find that these are always secondary to that more profound interest of “doing something for my little brother”.

I offer my specialist support at no obligation to individual donors and to professional advisors and their clients.  Please feel free to contact me if you would like to have a conversation about making your own impact… no matter the charitable cause that inspires you.

Larry D. Amstutz, CHS
Charitable Giving Advisor
Canadian Cancer Society, BC and Yukon Division
Charity Reg. # 11882-9803 RR0002Tel: +1 604 675 7351 Cell: +1 778 867 5015
565 West 10th Avenue
Vancouver, BC V5Z 4J4

 

Fight the Flu – 3 Easy Steps

Spread the Word…Not the Flu

It’s flu season again and adults over 65 are particularly vulnerable to the flu and its complications.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), influenza is a major cause of hospitalization, disability and even death for older people. Every year about 9 out of 10 flu-related deaths occur in adults over 65. Because the immune system may decline with age, traditional flu vaccines sometimes don’t work as well in elderly people. For these people, a higher-dose version is also available. The higher dose triggers the body to produce more antibodies against the flu virus.

Fight the flu with 3 simple steps:

1. Get flu shots.

A yearly flu vaccine is the first and most important step to protecting not just yourself but those in your care against flu viruses. Both you and the person in your care should be vaccinated, ideally in later summer or fall, before the flu season starts. A yearly vaccine is needed because the flu virus changes year to year; each year’s vaccine is made to protect against the three most common viruses for that year. The most serious complication of flu is pneumonia, so, in addition to age, people with chronic health conditions like asthma, COPD, diabetes or heart disease are at especially high risk.

2. Stop the spread of germs

  • Cover coughs and sneezes with a tissue and toss it after use.
  • Wash your hands often with soap and water. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol based hand sanitizer. Hand washing is the NUMBER ONE way to reduce spreading germs.
  • Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth.
  • Avoid close contact with sick people.
  • If you are sick with flu-like illness, stay home for at least24 hours after your fever is gone(without the use of fever-reducing meds) except to get medical care or for other necessities. While you are sick, it is important to limit contact with others as much as possible to keep from infecting them.

3.Use flu antiviral if a doctor prescribes them.

Prescription antiviral do not prevent or cure the flu. They are sometimes given to make the flu milder and possibly prevent serious complications. They work best if used within 48 hours of first symptoms (cough, sore throat, fever, aches and stuffy/runny nose), but may be given later if the person is very sick or is at high-risk of complications. Antiviral is not  a substitute for the flu vaccine.

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Source: National Council on Aging; CDC

Heather Martin, CDP
Comfort Keepers
Helping you stay Happier, Healthier & At Home
Serving Vancouver, Burnaby, New Westminster, Delta, White Rock and Surrey South of Fraser Hwy
14-1480 Foster Street
White Rock, BC V4B 3X7
Tel: (604) 689-8609/(604)541-8653
Cell: (778) 997-5685
Email: heathermartin@comfortkeepers.ca

 

The Globe and Mail: Unexpected death leaves wife to plot course for future

Our SBSA founder, Lynn Williams, was approached by Globe and Mail a few weeks ago for her consultation on a portfolio makeover.  Here is the  full Globe and Mail article that featured Lynn:

After losing her husband, Jim, to cancer a few years ago, Eileen finds herself facing some difficult decisions, as well as many mixed emotions. The two were happily married for more than three decades, but the end came quickly: Once Jim was diagnosed, he lived just another three months.

Eileen, 58, describes Jim as having been gregarious, generous and unafraid of risk. He made some smart money moves, including leaving her with a life-insurance policy worth more than $1-million. But he dabbled in several business ventures, one of which has since gone into receivership.

Meanwhile, Eileen, who has grown children, is feeling overwhelmed. Should she sell the family home that Jim helped to build or the couple’s beloved vacation property? How can she help her kids with university and housing costs while ensuring a stable financial future for herself? What will she be able to leave her children?

To say Jim’s estate is complicated is an understatement, she notes, which only exacerbates her financial concerns.

“I’m nervous about money and probably have an unhealthy psychology around it; I always worry about it,” Eileen admits. “I also don’t feel confident about my mutual fund investments. I already have capital losses of close to $30,000 and really feel that I haven’t invested my life insurance wisely. I worry that I won’t have enough to fully retire on and that there may not be an inheritance for our children. Had Jim lived, he would have been able to continue to provide a financial safety net that we all very much felt he gave to our family as a whole.”

The toughest question is what she should do about the couple’s real estate.

“I said I wouldn’t make any major decisions for five years, such as sell the family home of 25 years or sell our beautiful vacation home, which we love so much and where as a family we spent our summer holidays,” Eileen says. “We never talked about which house we would keep. It all happened so fast, and he was really sick. All I know is that my time owning both is limited, or I’ll go broke.”

To help Eileen make financial sense of emotionally charged circumstances, we consulted Lynn Williams, owner, chief executive officer and financial architect at the Lifestyle Protector in Vancouver, and Toronto’s John Sanchez, investment adviser with the Horwood Group at Richardson GMP .

The Basics – Eileen’s family home has been paid off and she has a line of credit worth $460,000, $86,000 of which has been used for an investment property – a townhome that is being built.

Assets:

– Family home, valued at $750,000.
– Vacation home, value uncertain, but holding approximately $300,000 in equity.
– $500,000 in mutual funds.
– $200,000 in guaranteed investment certificates.
– $50,000 in a high-interest savings account.

Monthly income:

– $500 CPP pension (survivor).
– $1,500 from part-time employment.
– $1,450 rental income from vacation property; fluctuates.
– $1,000, from kids’ debt repayment.

Monthly expenses:

– $2,300 a month in mortgage payments for vacation property.
– $600 in property taxes (for both homes).

Lynn Williams’s tips

1. Put a plan in place for Eileen’s income. It’s understandable that Eileen wants to help her kids financially, but Ms. Williams says she’s doing so without having a clear sense of her own situation. It’s also not surprising Eileen feels nervous about money, given that the only guaranteed source of money is her CPP survivor pension of $500 (which will be supplemented by her OAS beginning at 65).

“Eileen needs to take care of herself first,” Ms. Williams says. “She has to determine what her income needs are and how she’s going to generate this income from her investable assets. To retire and feel secure that her income will continue, Eileen needs to create a pension-like income from her existing investments that will be sufficient to take care of her day-to-day living expenses, essentially creating a secure income stream from her investable assets.”

This can be done using a variety of income products and structures including a life annuity, guaranteed minimum withdrawal benefit products and traditional mutual or segregated funds.

“This strategy would ensure that her basic income needs are guaranteed for life, regardless of how long she lives or how the market performs,” Ms. Williams says. “She can then decide what money, if any, is available and how she wants to help her children.”

2. Structure her investments for income rather than growth. “Eileen’s current mutual fund portfolio is structured for growth rather than income,” Ms. Williams says. “Being invested in an overly aggressive asset allocation, Eileen is taking on more risk than her needs or nerves suggest she is willing or able to tolerate.”

Ms. Williams says she’d structure Eileen’s investments to reflect a cautious investor, using predictable sources of investment income such as corporate bonds and blue-chip dividend income.

“If Eileen has provided personal guarantees for business loans and leases to keep her husband’s company liquid then her wealth could be at risk from creditors and litigation. I’d recommend, to potentially protect her assets from creditors and litigation, that Eileen consider purchasing her investments as segregated funds from an insurance company rather than buying her investments directly or by maintaining mutual funds,” she says. “Besides potentially offering creditor protection, segregated funds generally bypass the delays and potential expense of the probate process. They also help avoid market risk of a lengthy probate process.”

3. Develop a concrete plan to become debt-free. Part of Eileen’s stress appears to be coming from the mortgage she’s carrying on her vacation home, Ms. Williams notes. She also mentions $86,000 used on her line of credit for an investment property. To further reduce her money stress she needs to construct a plan to become debt-free. This likely means selling her vacation home.

“Eileen recognizes she has to come to terms with the fact she can’t keep both properties much longer,” Ms. Williams says. “It will likely become clear that she needs to sell one of her properties to provide for herself. Her homes have a lot of emotional attachment so I suggest she share her findings about her financial situation with her family. This could be done in the form of a family meeting. It will allow the children to support their mother and offer an opportunity to make a family decision to move forward.”

John Sanchez’s tips

1. Work with a qualified investment adviser to establish a comprehensive wealth plan. “The wealth plan will include a review of Eileen’s goals, risk tolerance, investment time horizon as well as her estate plan and will,” Mr. Sanchez says. “She should consider including her children in an estate planning discussion. The wealth plan can also establish strategies to ensure an equal inheritance to each of her children, taking into account the various ‘early inheritances’ already given.”

Including her children in the estate planning will likely help Eileen find peace with the real-estate quandary. “Selling the family home tends to be an emotional decision,” Mr. Sanchez says. “Downsizing eventually does make sense. Since she has sufficient assets and income from other sources, there doesn’t appear to be an urgent need to sell the home. A well-structured plan should provide Eileen with peace of mind as she transitions to retirement.”

The vacation home, however, is costing her more than she potentially stands to earn in rental income. “It appears as though the rental property is a cash drag, so it doesn’t appear to fit from an investment perspective,” Mr. Sanchez says.

2. Review insurance coverage to see whether there are any gaps.“Eileen should review her existing life insurance coverage with a qualified professional to ensure that it covers her various needs,” Mr. Sanchez says. “For example, a small whole-life policy would allow her to create or preserve an inheritance with the added security of providing cash values if required for retirement.”

Eileen should also consider long-term care insurance, which would provide her with regular income to offset the costs associated with future health-care needs such as nursing care, either in-home or in a long-term care facility, he says.

3. Review Eileen’s investment risk tolerance and adjust her portfolio accordingly. “A review of her risk tolerance would produce an asset allocation that can be used as a road map to develop a diversified portfolio of fixed income and domestic and global equities,” Mr. Sanchez says. “Her portfolio losses are mainly a result of her two most aggressive investments, a precious metals fund and an emerging markets fund. These should be trimmed down or removed to reduce overall volatility. The realized capital losses can be used to offset capital gains from the previous three years or carried forward indefinitely to offset capital gains in the future.”

Eileen should also consider investing in tax-efficient corporate class mutual funds, which may help to reduce taxable investment income each year, Mr. Sanchez adds.

“Eileen should also be aware that many of her funds are invested in an option known as deferred service charge [DSC], which means the investor incurs fees on redemption,” he notes. “She should review the fees in detail before making any investment changes. You can often switch to other funds from the same provider without triggering the redemption fees.”

Source: The Globe and Mail

Gail Johnson

Special to The Globe and Mail
Published Monday, Aug. 12 2013, 1:20 PM EDT
Last updated Friday, Sep. 13 2013, 1:34 PM EDT

You Have Control Over Yourself, Not Other People

Therapy is about helping you to help yourself. It’s not so much about being single or being in relationship, it’s about looking at how you manage yourself when in relationship with other people. It helps you look at how you project your issues and parts of yourself you don’t like onto other people, especially your partner. Therapy is about working with what is in your control and those behaviours you can take responsibility for. Therapy is not about listening and supporting you in blaming other people for your problems. That isn’t helpful to anyone. Not to say that everything is your fault, it’s not. But every relationship is a dynamic, which means two people are involved. Therapy is teaching you to be accountable for your contribution, even if it’s 10% of the problem.

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Therapy also addresses your perceptions – how you perceive the world, other people, and yourself. Everyone has a different life experience, different parents, different messages that have shaped who you are today. We see the world as we are, not as it is. Everything is a construction we create of ourselves. You can only see what you have in your brain based on your history, your stories. Part of survival is making a quick judgement, coding it, and unconsciously making new people and new situations fit your stories.

Therapy helps people to notice, stop, and become more aware of what’s going on for you. It’s a process of getting to know yourself, what comes up for you from moment to moment, what and who triggers you, how you tend to react, and how you developed these defensive behaviors. Part of the issue is how hard we are on ourselves and how we criticize the things we don’t like about ourselves. When we take the time to understand our protective behaviors, we realize we make sense. Increasing self compassion is key for healthy growth and development. Furthermore, there is always a chance for a do-over. You can’t control the first thing that comes out of your mouth, but you can control the second thing. If you make a mistake, own it, learn from it, and let it guide your decisions going forward. There can be so much meaning in taking time to repair a relationships you’ve ruptured.

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 You, my friend, have the control, not other people.

 

Grace McDonald, M.A., RCC, RMFT
Registered Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Clinical Counselor
www.gracemcdonald.ca
604-873-9355  F 604-874-9355
FB Grace McDonald Counselling
Twitter @GraceSMcDonald

 

Your Imago Valentine

This coming Valentines Day, remember what you love about your partner using Imago Relationship Therapy!

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What is Imago therapy and how can it work for your relationship?

Imago therapy is based on the idea that your partner is your image of love. Your partner provides healing and helps you to experience growth. You learn to listen and hold on to your reaction that comes up, so you can be present and attentive for your partner. Plus, you learn to take responsibility for your reactivity and feel fully alive within yourself, which improves your connection with your partner.

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Have you ever wondered the real reason you disagree with your partner?

· We are attracted to the differences between our partner and ourselves yet the differences often bring conflict. The attraction and the conflict mean you’ve found the right person. You also tend to fall in love with someone with the same amount of baggage, and we all bring baggage into our relationship.

· When one partner understands the other, the content of the conflict can become irrelevant. The couple develops a deep understanding and appreciation for their differences, and is thus less triggered by them.

· Our behavior and our defenses represent our unmet needs. We fall in love because of certain qualities the other person possesses that meet those needs. However, the quality changes after time, and that same quality represents the lost part of the self.

· Part of our attraction to our partner is to once again feel our wholeness and aliveness because the attraction represents a need to connect to lost parts of the self.

A few items to consider that will make you relationship even better:

· Express appreciation to your partner:

“One thing I appreciate about you is…”

• Listen to your partner. Reflect back what you hear your partner saying to you.

· Validate your partner:

“I hear what you are saying, and it matters to me.”

“What you’re saying makes sense to me because…”

“I can understand that you feel that way because sometimes I…”

· Empathize with your partner: “I imagine you may be feeling…”

How Imago therapy can support your relationship:

· A couple’s experience in Imago therapy will evolve from voicing frustrations about your partner to noticing and sharing your own self-struggles, experiencing and re-experiencing connection and differentiation.

· Through Imago practice, the dialogue rewires the reptilian or automatic responses in the brain, causing us to behave defensively, to become learned and intentional behavior and communication.

· You reflect on yourself, and how you affect your partner and how what you say makes you more or less connected to your partner, and how you wish would respond.

· The Imago therapist provides a safe environment for a dialogue to occur and guides the couple in connection. The therapist teaches you to be hopeful, to get your needs met, to think and reflect, to know your contributions, and be aware of obstacles.

· We take the therapy hour to listen, understand, and empathize with our partner. You learn how to communicate to your partner in a respectful way, where you express your experience, your feelings, in a way that benefits your partner.

· The couple first understands each other’s concerns, in a safe environment, and then they are able to solve or accept them.

· A couple learns that all people make sense all of the time if we listen long enough. Taking the time to correctly perceive our partner can then cause us to act and project our energy in a healthy manner.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Grace McDonald, M.A., RCC, RMFT
Registered Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Clinical Counselor
www.gracemcdonald.ca
T 604-873-9355  F 604-874-9355
FB Grace McDonald Counselling
Twitter @GraceSMcDonald